Red
by Scribble Hawk
Summary: Set during 50 Shades Freed when Ana saves Mia. What if Christian wasn't there in time to save Ana? What if Ana lost her little 'blip? A one-shot on what follows.


**Christian`s POV**

Christian had no intention of answering any calls. He let the phone ring again and again as he drowned in his own sorrow. And he intended to do the same if it wasn't for the voice message that followed after the continuous ringing. A voice message about Mrs. Grey, his wife, in critical condition and on the way to the hospital. Only then did he immediately answer it, realising that the voice message was coming from Ana`s mobile and asked the man on the call through the soaking numbness and shock-

"_What!?"_

He was told about the hospital she was being taken to. Then he was frantic, already on his way to the hospital, yelling at the man on the other end of the call to tell him what happened. Apparently, he had understood Christian`s worries because he didn't seem to be offended by Christian`s yelling.

He told Christian what happened, at least all that he knew happened. Ana was holding a gun pointed at a guy, who had one gun pointed at her and his other gun at another young girl. He told him that Mrs. Grey had shot the gun pointed at the young girl, a perfect hit. But at the same time he had shot her in the side of her stomach. She had shot him again, probably aiming for the heart, but while staggering back from the impact, missed and hit his shoulder instead. The young girl took that as an opening and punched him right into unconsciousness before trying to find help for Mrs. Grey who had fallen and was quickly loosing blood. He told Christian about how she had been carrying a suitcase with a huge sum, which was now iin the possession of the young girl.

Christian fell weak as he tried to absorb this. He didn't understand why this was happening. Why had Ana done all this? For whom?

He found himself asking who the young girl was as he reached the hospital and stream-lined towards the reception asking for Mrs. Grey. Before the receptionist could answer however a hand on his shoulder stole his attention.

"Are you Mr. Grey?" The man asked and Christian nodded. The man then pointed at the phone in his hand, _Ana`s _phone and told him to follow. He realized that this was the man on the other end of the call, Christian`s wrath-bearer. Christian immediately followed, noticing the white coat he was a wearing. He was the doctor.

It was when they reached the third floor and had seen Mia`s crying face as the elevator doors opened that he felt things clicking and when the doctor pointed at her telling him she was the young girl he was asking about, Christian`s suspicions were confirmed.

Suddenly Christian`s rush had vanished and every step towards Mia felt heavy. When Mia noticed him, her walk turned into a full sprint as she ran to him and pushed him. Christian was momentarily surprised but didn't move an inch.

"Why?" Mia asked, banging his chest again and again. "Why didn't you pick the call, you idiot!?"

She was crying, her punches getting weaker and weaker and Christian stared as she sobbed and called him names for not picking up the call. He didn't understand what call she was talking about but didn't ask her. He didn't care about anything at the moment. He wanted to see Ana … and their child.

Mia strength gave away as she leaned her forehead on Christian`s chest, her hands reaching up to his caller and fisting them. Christian couldn't see her face but it was obvious she was still crying. He could feel his white shirt getting soaked from her tears.

"You idiot", she whispered, her voice so quite it felt like a breeze. "You could've saved her. If only you picked up the call we wouldn't have been here. We wouldn't have been in this hospital right now."

That caught Christian`s attention.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said." She said, looking up at him. "I called you. Bloody Jack`s assistant gave me her phone to call you and I did. Once, twice, thrice. But you didn't pick up. I didn't know anyone else I could call who`d get there as fast as you could. So I called and called and called before Jack could get there. But you didn't pick up." She hit her head on his chest, hands still tightly clenching his shirt`s collar, "You didn't pick up".

Christian didn't know just what he was supposed to say then. A feeling of dread settled over him. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but his hands refused to move. His entire body refused to move.

"The whole way to the hospital", Mia started after a few seconds, "She was only worried about you. She was only talking about you. She told me what happened between you and her at the bank and how you just can`t completely believe that she loves you and she just kept repeating '_how do I show him that I love him'_ again and again until she fainted."

"Brother", she said, her voice laced with emotions, "you are one big depressing asshole." She smiled a little as a tear slipped. "She was smiling when she told me to tell you that. At first I thought she was being a little mean, but now I get why she said that." Her smile then faded. "I understand that something happened in your past. I don`t know. Maybe you were abused, kicked out of your house, had a devil for a parent or a sibling that just so happened to kill your entire family, a gang fight or you were kidnapped or anything. The possibilities are endless. But that was _years _ago. You found a new home, parents, siblings, love and an enterprise so huge that people bow down to you. So why are you still not satisfied!? Why do you think you don't deserve to be loved or believe that someone ca love you so much? Would mom and dad put up with you if they didn't love you? Would Elliot or I put up with you if we didn't love you? Would_ Ana _stay with you through all this, put herself and her baby in danger for_ your sister _and put up with you without loving _you!?_"

Her sudden snap got him out of his daze. Something cleared in his chest as Mia spoke. His body was again functioning and he hugged Mia hard as tears trickled down. Mia hugged him back just as hard.

"How... how is she now?" Christian asked. And then she said something that made his brain stop functioning.

"I`m sorry. I`m so sorry. Ana… she was pregnant Christian. And that Jack… they couldn't…they couldn't save the baby. She`s been unresponsive since she heard the news. I`m so sorry…she needs you right now. Go, she needs you the most."

Christian gasped as more tears trickled down. He remembered just how much Ana had fought for their child. _Their _child. Christian felt a pang as he realized that that child, their child, didn't exist anymore. Christian couldn't imagine hoe devastated Ana would be feeling. Every word he had said against the baby hit him. He couldn't see Ana. He didn't have the guts to show her his face. He broke away from Mia and took a step back. Ana didn't deserve him, no, he was a dead weight to her.

But a hand clasped around his wrist, stopping him in his track.

"Don't do this to her." Mia`s voice sounded weak and desperate as she shook her head, her eyes not leaving his. "She needs you Christian. She loves you. Don't leave her alone. Not again."

And as Christian looked at her, his senses sunk and he realized how much Ana needed him. She loved him. She had put her life, her baby at risk for him. She had stood in front of Jack, knowing full well of the consequences of saving his sister, knew that she would be shot instead. She had done it anyway.

Christian locked eyes with Mia as an understanding passed between them and Mia unclasped her hand. As Christian passed Mia to enter Anastacia`s room, he heard Mia whisper a very soft 'Thank You' and Christian couldn't help but imagine Ana calling him a depressed asshole. He smiled to himself as he opened the door to her room.

His smile was gone as quick as it had come. Ana was lying on the bed, her hands crossed over her stomach, her blanket over her, her hair spread over the bed. She looked pale and frail, like her body would disintegrate at one touch. Her eyes were open, staring at the roof. The rising and falling of her chest felt like the only indication of life.

"Oh Ana…"Christian voiced unconsciously. It felt like a prayer of thanks to God, for keeping her alive. His voice made Ana snap her head towards him and he saw her moist eyes widen, a watery smile across her face.

"Christian…" she whispered and she couldn't hold back anymore. He ran to her side and kissed her, putting all his regret, love and everything he felt in it. He thanked every god existing for keeping her alive as he kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her lips, her eyes, everywhere. "Oh thank God" he said as he hugged her, trying to feel her heart-beat, trying to sink in the fact that she was there. That she was alive and breathing. But the momentary happiness dies as he realized Ana wasn't hugging him back. He broke away, letting Ana lie properly on the bed.

"Ana, are you alright?" He asked. He immediately felt stupid for asking that and was about to speak when she said, "Sorry Christian, I`m so sorry."

Christian frowned. "For what?"

"For taking the money, telling you I`m leaving and for fighting against you. It was horrible, I know, and I`m very sorry-"

"Ana, I should be the one asking for forgiveness. I should've realized what was happening sooner and acted faster. This wouldn't have happened if I did."

"Well, something good came out of this anyway". She said as she turned her head away from him.

"Something good?" Christian asked, disbelief etched in his voice.

"Yeah, we won`t be fighting over that matter anymore." She replied. Christian didn't understand but he sensed the bitterness in her voice.

"What do you mean, Ana?"

"I mean that we won`t have to worry about the baby anymore. It`s gone." Ana said as she turned to look at him. "You didn't want a child anyway, so good for us. No need to share love. No distractions or complications. It died, I lived. Just how we wanted it to be for a little while." She gave a smile that hurt to see.

Every word she said was like a punch to his gut. He looked at the Ana. The Ana right now. Her blanket came up to her waist and he could now see the bandage at her side. Two tubes were connected to her hand and waist. Blood soaked the white bandage and was staining the sheets. It hurt him to see her like this. For her to say such words because of him…

"Ana…I`m sorry. So sorry for what I said. I was surprised and frustrated and I wasn't thinking straight. I wanted the child Ana…I was just so surprised, I got worried and…I did want the child. I wanted our child… Oh Anastacia…what did I do...?" Christian said, letting out his worry, his hands hiding his face.

He finally looked up when he heard a very soft sob. Ana was looking at the ceiling again, her face crest-fallen and tears ran down her eyes, disappearing into her hairline. Christian`s heart broke as he took her in. This was what she had been holding in. Because of him.

"Blip" she said as she slowly turned her head to look at him again. "That's why I called the child. Blip."

"_Our_ child" Christian corrected. He felt surprised at his involuntary comment and he could see that Ana was too. She tried to smile but it was so heart-broken that Christian couldn't look at it. Instead, he urged her to continue.

"I used to talk to him so much. I promised him so many things. I promised him I`d make you like him you know? Told him you`d spoil him into a lovable idiot. I promised him all sorts of stuff. New toys, different places, friends, best parents, many things. But do you know what was the first promise I made Christian?" Ana asked, as more tears slipped through her eyes and her voice cracked.

Christian shook his head as a few tears escaped his eyes as well.

"I…I made the promise of life Christian. I promised him his life. I promised him that no matter who tried to stop me, I`d bring him into this world. And I couldn't keep it Christian. Such a simple promise and I couldn't…I couldn't…" Ana trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. And then she cried. She wailed and clutched Christians shirt and did everything she could to try and let out the anger, the pain ,the hatred she felt, everything she had been holding back.

Christian felt daggers stabbing his heart. He felt like crawling away, reverse time so he could change everything. Anything he could do to make this better. He couldn't bear to look at Ana like this, so broken and vulnerable. He couldn't.

He tried to think of something, anything that would stop Ana from crying. He knew that Ana`s outburst was not good for her right now. From the way she was shaking, her wound would only reopen. It would damage her already weak body. Losing his child was enough. He wasn't going to lose Ana too.

"Ana…Ana stop crying" He tried slowly, again and again. It didn't work. He tried one last time.

"Anastacia Grey, I said stop crying." He said, putting up a very strong face, his voice more dominant than ever. Ana`s hand immediately went to cover her mouth like a reflex. She tried to control herself, but tears still flowed and she shook her head, turning to him with a face that look so shattered, his resolve broke.

"Red," She said between her sobs, as her clutch on his shirt tightened. "Red, red, red…"

Something inside Christian fell apart. He felt someone tearing him up, a pain that felt so physical he wondered if his heart was bleeding. He fiercely hugged his wife as cried in his arms into unconsciousness. He gently laid her back down, placed her hand on his heart and his on hers. A promise from one bleeding heart to another. A promise to get through together and to never let go.


End file.
